Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is for her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. (1Corinthians 11:14-15 NIV)
I lost my glory today…cut it right off. That’s not to say, it isn’t the first time. My relationship with my God-given head of hair has been an up and down journey, to put it mildly. However, after I felt the call of the Lord on my life to serve among Muslims while in West Africa, I decided then that I would grow my hair long. It served a cultural purpose at the time, and seemed more acceptable to the peoples I would serve.
Then I met Raouf, and he liked my long hair. By the time David was born, four years into our marriage, my hair was all the way down my back. I cut it off postpartum and cried my eyes out. It grew back, and the hairstyles continued to change for the next 25 years. Yet, long has always been easier for me…plus Raouf liked it. What can I say? I submitted.
After another attempt at a real “style” when we returned to the United States, I once again went with the straight, long look. Even my sons preferred their mother with her hair in a bun. That’s how they knew me best. Then their father left us, going to The Glory and no longer worrying about the silly things of this world, like my hair.
Since his death, I really have done little to my looks, growing set in my ways, but now we have a wedding coming up, I’ve moved, and life is changing fast. I felt the weight of my hair during the day and even in the night, as I tossed in my sleep, wrestling with the affects of grief and life. I looked at Raouf’s picture and asked him, “Should I cut my hair?” I smiled knowing what he would say, “Carol, why are you worrying about what I would think? I’m in the presence of the Lord and the saints in glory. It’s just hair!”
So, I made my appointment with my hairstylist friend, who would understand my agony, and let my glory go. I realized that now as a widow, I no longer have the submission to a man, and ultimately, my true submission was always to God alone. He is my Hope and my Glory, not my hair. Just like with so many other things in this world, we slip into finding our identity or security in something other than Him. I shouldn’t let my hair pull me down physically or emotionally. I have to let go and let God give me His peace.
It’s all part of that grief walk, but it’s also part of that selfish, putting-myself-first walk too.
Where do your find your Glory?
Grace and Peace