Remember those days when you asked the Lord for patience? Never quite worked out the way you imagined, did it? There always seemed to be something that caused you to lose it, right?
Well, that’s what happened to me today, but it came with humility.
You see, I’ve been reading a book called Humility by Andrew Murray. Actually, I’ll even go so far as to admit that this is my second readthrough. I was so taken by it the first time, I wanted to go back and reread it and really dig in the scriptures included in the exercises. I was determined for humility to take root.
It was a worthy goal, don’t you think?
That’s what I thought too until I found myself in a quandary. I got vexed and I kept trying to see if my response was ruining my goal of trying to reflect the humility of Christ. I must have used the word humility at least fifteen times today, confessing to colleagues and friends that I was even reading a book on it. Really humble!
It’s amazing that every time I went over my dilemma, I found myself trying to justify my response. The problem was that word (or the Lord) would not let me go. So, here I am sitting in my open confessional, pulling out Murray’s book. Just listen to this quote:
I’ve never thought about vexation as a grace before, yet by the end of my day, I was feeling that heart-tug of the Spirit saying, “Let it go, Carol. Learn from this and humble yourself before it.”
Doesn’t the Spirit know I’m not very good at letting stuff go? Yeah, I’m sure he does, because he gave me multiple opportunities to lay my humiliation out there, and by the end of the day, I owned it. I was humiliated and I learned from it.
I’m not sure if my pride has been fully conquered; actually, I’m pretty sure it hasn’t, but I do think this experience taught me to accept even hard things as lessons the Lord can use to teach me and even…show me his grace through being humbled.
Feeling vexed? Maybe it’s the Lord wanting to show you some grace in a new way. Don’t miss the opportunity, and, be careful what you read!
Grace and Peace