A Life in Exile

Two-by-twos are nothing new in Scripture. In fact, they go all the way back to the beginning, when even God saw that it was not good for the one to be alone, which led Him to make the first couple. But it is not only human couples that went out into the world, but animals as well. Knowing that the flood would require a reset in both human and animal repopulation, God called the animals into the ark of Noah two-by-two. From the least to the greatest, both male and female creatures were called into the ark and preserved for the special task of reproducing and filling the earth.

Fast-forward to the New Testament, and we see Jesus sending out the twelve in groups of twos to test the waters in gospel ministry. They would learn from each other and support each other in this short-term assignment, returning with great stories of how the Lord had worked in their midst. Post-ascension, these disciples and thousands more, spread throughout the known world, fulfilling the Great Commission. Yes, God used individuals, like the Apostle Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy, but he also called couples, like Aquilla and Priscilla.

Does God see me when I struggle with my role in service?

I will tell you, it takes a very strong person to serve as a single in mission service. Paul did it, but not without help along the way. Remember that in the end, he had his own personal doctor traveling with him! Even the Lord Jesus, during His earthly ministry, did not refuse the support offered to Him and his disciples by several women. I share this to say that no one serves in complete isolation. We all need people to come alongside us in support and service.

That said, I hear and understand the pain many women experience in mission and ministry life, as they see their husbands flourishing in leadership, outreach, and from recognition, while they are rarely acknowledged or honored for their roles. And what are those roles? Let me share a few:

• Giving birth to and raising children
• Teaching children
• Cooking and cleaning for the family and any and all guests
• Bookkeeping for the family and oftentimes the team
• Doing paperwork and reports for their husband
• Witnessing to women
• Discipling women
• Ministering in the church through teaching, helping with children, and administration
• Packing, unpacking, and meeting the family’s emotional needs when coming and going
• Providing a safe and welcoming place for her husband
• Being a faithful and supportive wife

Does God see you as you serve? Absolutely. Does He count your contributions as important to the work of the Kingdom? Absolutely.

Just as the Lord saw Hagar, Hannah, Rachel, Rahab, Deborah, Mary Magdalene, Lydia, Tabatha, and all the women we know from Scripture, He sees you. He loves you, and He will honor your faithful labor done in His name, and one day, He’ll welcome you with a “well done, my good and faithful servant,” which is the greatest recognition of all.

Seasons of increase and decrease

In my over twenty years of service, I have seen many seasons of life and ministry. There were times, during the years when I was having babies and raising young children, when my role as wife and mother were the priority. I did other ministry as I could, but my primary ministry was in the home. Such seasons are when we recognize that as women, we must decrease and allow our husbands to increase in the more “public” expressions of ministry. We’re still doing ministry, but it is in the stewardship of our children and homes.

As children grow, and our 24/7 attention is not as needed, we have opportunities to increase our roles outside the home, as the Lord opens doors. However, it might also mean that you are able to give more time to welcoming guests into your home as well. Whichever way the Lord leads, we can find ways to serve others. It still may not be as much time as your husband is investing, but this does not neglect your impact. We give our loaves and fishes; God brings the increase.

Either way, whatever the season, my caution to women is to refrain from comparing your worth with your husband’s. You are equally valuable in God’s sight. He can reach people you can’t, as you can reach women and children he may never meet. The mission field is ripe for all who are called: families, women, men, wives, and husbands. Oftentimes, the Lord uses you as a couple to reach other couples and families in ways neither of you could do alone, just as singles often reach college students and other singles in ways married workers cannot.

Help supporting churches understand the season

Whatever the season may be, those supporting you sometimes need to be educated on what life looks like on the field. Just as Jesus told His disciples to understand the seasons and to lift their eyes to the fields, we must share the realities of our lives while sharing what God continues to do among us and is teaching us about our people groups.

Will they understand everything you tell them? No, but that should not lead you to fear being honest with them about your life and work. Making disciples is not a fast-food restaurant ministry, but a long-term commitment to living among a people as salt and light, seeking God’s direction and waiting on Him to open doors and hearts to hear and receive the Good News.

Be encouraged to press on as a Christian woman, following the examples of those who have gone before us into service for the Kingdom. The results of your labors with your children, husband, and neighbors are best left in the hands of the One who has called you to the task, that He may receive all the glory and honor. We all must decrease in this world that He might increase and be praised by the nations.

Grace and Peace

If you missed the last Mission Monday post, click HERE, or check out these other posts on women in missions: Don’t Forget the Wives, Finding Balance, Frustrated Mothers, Children Change Things, and Imposter Syndrome.