A Life in Exile

I have served among the nations in various capacities as a woman. I’ve been a single missionary, a married woman, a mother, and a widow. I’ve even watched my sons go out to their own fields of service, which is a whole new experience.

Today, however, I’m thinking of the early days of motherhood. Both our sons were born overseas, so about sixteen out of our twenty years on the field were spent chasing them and trying to survive. Well, it really wasn’t as bad as that sounds, but they did keep me on my toes. This post is for those of you who are struggling with your value in the grand scheme of missions, because right now, you’re nursing newborns, trying to potty train a toddler, looking for socks for your school-aged child, or homeschooling. I could add cooking and a multitude of other daily tasks that come with raising children, but I know I don’t have to, so I won’t. You know who you are and you get the picture.

What lesson did I learn during my years of combining missions and motherhood?

Motherhood and missions are not incompatible.

Though I felt it at times, there is nothing that says a mother is not a missionary. My call to serve did not change the moment I got pregnant with our first child. I was still the same woman that God had called to the nations. My love for the people he’d led us to had not waivered with my changing hormones. I didn’t stop serving due to morning sickness or a growing belly. In fact, I traveled to other countries several times during my pregnancy, attended meetings, and took my parents on a tour of our country of service and that of Egypt.

We even evacuated from Syria during my first pregnancy, after getting kicked out, and set up home in neighboring Lebanon. I moved our new nursery from one land to another and survived to tell the story. I traveled around much of Lebanon before our first son was born, as we were getting to know the land and her people. My husband was preaching, and I was by his side.

During those four years in Lebanon, I would give birth to not one but two sons, help with a local school in the downtown area, disciple women from the seminary next to our house, and play the piano at the Baptist Church where my husband pastored to help out the African congregation that was in need. I also started writing my first book during those years.

Women with children can do the “work” of missions just as women in the workplace can also be mothers. One does not preclude the other.

We witness as we mother.

As a foreigner in a foreign land, people are watching you. You know that. You don’t have to do anything to let it happen. You look different. You speak differently. You act differently. You are different. It’s just the fact of being an outsider in their world. That is why there are great opportunities for mothers on mission.

Knowing that people are watching, you have the opportunity to demonstrate the difference Jesus makes in the way you treat your children. Even your outlook on motherhood can serve as a bridge to witness. Testifying that God blesses us with children in response to his command to “be fruitful and multiply” can point others to the Creator God who puts us in families. We are to be stewards of our children, knowing that we are able to train them up for a few short years and then they must move forward to do the good works God has prepared in advance for them to do—them, not us. Our good work was raising them and teaching them of the goodness of God and his ways.

Seeing children as a blessing, not a burden, is another testimony point where God can use us to build a bridge to the why and how we can have such an attitude. I’m not saying we’re perfect in this all the time. I never was, but I know that how I related to my sons made an impact on those watching. And we mustn’t forget the fathers in this. Though they may not be as hands-on as mothers in the day-to-day care of the children, their love for and time with children also speaks volumes to a watching world.

Talk about this together as a couple, and make sure you’re on the same page with what parenthood means to your desire to reach your people group or city for Christ.

God’s motherly love.

While God’s primary revelation to humanity is as our Heavenly Father, he does not neglect the importance of a mother’s love.

• You ignored the Rock who gave you birth; you forgot the God who gave birth to you. (Deuteronomy 32:18 CSB)
• As a mother comforts her son, so I will comfort you, and you will be comforted in Jerusalem. (Isaiah 66:13)
• “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the child of her womb? Even if these forget, yet I will not forget you. (Isaiah 49:15)
• “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her. How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! (Matthew 23:37)

If the Lord loves me in such a way, then he does not despise my motherly feelings toward my children. He wants us to love and care for our children as he does us. He uses our role as mothers to demonstrate that same love to a lost and dying world, a world without hope, serving gods who are incapable of love in any form, because they are not gods at all, but deceptive shadows.

Is motherhood easy? No. Does it get frustrating at times? Yes. But oh, how precious it is in his sight. On my best days as a mother, when I was caring for my sons, happily changing their diapers, singing songs, reading books, or telling them how much God loves them, I know God was pleased. As I wrestled with my toddler while trying to play the piano at church, tried to make young boys sit still (and silent) during a visit, or fell exhausted into bed, God also watched, knowing he had grace enough to help me through the stress I faced; and he was faithful to provide.

Long on the other side of these daily interactions with two growing boys, I look back and say, “I’d do it all again.” Give your frustrations to the Lord and look forward to the day when you can say the same.

Grace and Peace

If you missed the last Mission Monday post, click HERE. Or, check out these posts on parenting: God’s Call, Lessons Children Teach Us, A Family of the Word, Questioning Doubt, and Raising Up a New Generation of Missionaries.