A Life in Exile

This week brings many reasons to be reflective in my writing, as I have recently passed a milestone in life. I think many of my long-time friends will agree that it’s hard to imagine yourself marking certain ages in life, and this sixtieth year is no exception. Though one’s body is a constant reminder that our twenties are now decades in the past, minds like to fool us into thinking otherwise.

Still, for me, this turn of the birthday dial is an indication that I’m much nearer the end than the beginning, and for that reason, I’m using this Wednesday Wisdom post to speak into the matter.

I am always with you.

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at the tender age of eight. I was sitting on my parent’s bed, as they led me through the sinner’s prayer. From that moment, my life has never been the same, and my walk with Jesus has been sweet, as he is my constant source of hope and comfort.

As a young girl, I adopted Psalm 73:25 as my favorite verse, and now, as I look at it through the eyes of one who has been over fifty years with the Lord, I need to include surrounding verses to bring my story full circle.

Yet I am always with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me up in glory. Who do I have in heaven but you? And I desire nothing on earth but you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever. Those far from you will certainly perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, God’s presence is my good. I have made the Lord God my refuge, so I can tell about all you do.

Psalm 73:23-28 CSB (emphasis mine)

I am so grateful for a Savior who does not let me go. I think back over years of stupid decisions, actions, and words that were far from his perfect plan for my life. I can easily relive moments when I know he was disappointed or even angry with me. I think of moments now when I don’t live up to his standard of righteousness. Still, he has never left me but graciously forgives when I’m brought to my knees in conviction and confession. Yes, he’s been there through it all and continues to hold my right hand, guiding me, and giving me counsel. He will hold on until the moment he takes me up in glory.

I have no one else.

The longer one’s years on this earth, a person cannot help but experience loss. I faced my first big loss as a fourth-grader when my best friend’s mother died suddenly on Mother’s Day. The trauma of that would impact me for years to come, as the reality that close loved ones could suddenly be gone from our lives. My grandmother’s death during my junior year of high school would be the first big blow to my immediate family. It took years for me to be able to speak of her without crying.

Yet, in the midst of those early experiences, God taught me about his eternal presence, bringing the truth of verse 25, to my life. Even at a young age, I knew that I had nothing in heaven and on earth greater than the Lord. The deaths of my mother, father, and husband all confirmed the temporal state of this world and the eternal presence of Christ alone.

But as for me

With passing years and loss, I still have reason to rejoice and hope. Asaph wraps it up nicely and conveys my thoughts as I enter into, not only a new decade of life but a season. As far as I’m concerned, it’s good to be near God. I love the CSB translation of the phrase: “God’s presence is my good.”

Yes, all good is found in God. His presence is the source of all my blessing, hope, and strength. For this reason, I choose to make the Lord my refuge. “Aging is not for sissies,” as my dad would say, and I know that whatever comes my way physically or in this ever-darkening world, I have a hiding place, a place of rest and hope in the Lord.

Not only do I find my good in God, but I will choose to tell about all he does. This post is a start. The God who saved me as a young girl is the same God who has been with me each and every day of my life. I’ve experienced him in my life but also seen him do amazing things in the lives of people all around this world. He is worthy of your belief and trust. He alone holds the key to the future of your life. He alone will make the difference between a life of hopelessness and fear and a life of joy, hope, and purpose.

I pray that, as for you, you will find your refuge in God.

Grace and Peace

To check out the last Wednesday Wisdom post, click HERE. For more thoughts on Birthdays, click HERE.