Grief: It’s Not a Spreadsheet

Reflecting on grief last week, I was thinking about all the things that have happened in the last five years, since my husband’s death. While I lost him, I am grateful for the two beautiful daughters-in-law I gained. I’m grateful to see my sons married and doing well. I’m grateful for a job, for friends, for the every day moving forward in life by his grace.

Then I thought about how we work through grief as the days, weeks, months and years go by.

It’s not a spreadsheet.

I can’t compare what I’ve lost and gained, like one outweighs the other or I find balance in the end. No, that works with budgeting and finance but not grief.

In grief, we thank God through it all.

I can’t thank God that in losing one loved one I gained another, but I can thank him for both the love I had and experienced with the one I lost, while being grateful as well for the new people he’s brought in my life. God is there through it all–in the loss and in the gain, reminding us that we can be open to new blessings while not forgetting those of the past.

Having just gone through the Thanksgiving holiday here, I have a wonderful opportunity to watch my sons begin to build on the blessings of their new loves, while I remember my own. It doesn’t make me hurt more or less with either thought, but it does make me thankful.

I know that for many of you, 2020 has been a year of gain and loss. Just remember–it’s not a spreadsheet of keeping God accountable to how much he gives us. Job said:

The Lord gave and the the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.

Job 1:21b (NIV)

Praise the Lord in good times and in bad, for in Christ, he enables us to go through this life with a hope that looks beyond it all. For that I’m thankful.

Grace and Peace

All The Colors In The World by Podington Bear is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 International License.

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