I found this in my grief journal. It was written on February 25, 2016
Three months today – it’s hard to believe. Death comes but time marches on. He left me, and when I didn’t know if I could go on without him, autopilot kicks in, and I did:
I’ve gone to work
I’ve had two speaking engagements
I drove out of town
I got a cat
I went to church
I translated
I taught ESL
I had special one-on-one times with women
I cleaned Dad’s house
I got emissions tests and tags
I fixed Nathan’s car
I dealt with insurance
I filed taxes
I put together a treadmill
Does it say that I didn’t need him or can live without him? No.
It says I must.
After two years on this journey, there are still days when autopilot kicks in, but I now have more that are purposeful in what I plan and do. God helps me in this process, and I’ve learned a lot along the way.
Are you grieving — from a death, a move, a change or loss? Let God get your autopilot turned on and keep moving. You may not see it now, but there will be a time when you are ready to get back behind the wheel and live with purpose. Keep leaning on him, and you’ll be amazed at the list you can make. It doesn’t take away grief, but it fills the moments when we’re tempted to give way to it.
Grace and Peace