A Life in Exile

Today’s verse in Proverbs has been a source of wisdom for me since my earliest days. I had it written in one of the first Bibles I owned, and it has been highlighted in every version since.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 ESV)

Why was this verse so impactful? I was the youngest of five children, three of whom were my brothers who loved to rile me up. At one point, I remember my older brother locking my dog in another room, and then proceeding to tickle me. My screams and tears drove that poor dog to distraction, as he tried to protect his owner. Boys can be cruel.

But, as I learned to read God’s Word, the sibling-induced anger faced a dilemma. Do I retaliate teasing and harsh words with the same, or is there a better way?

God’s Word always provides the better way. I just had to apply it.

Easier said than done.

Growing in obedience

Irritating brothers aside, this verse remained embedded in my mind and heart throughout my life. At times I remembered it before reacting on impulse; at other times, the Spirit pricked my heart in the aftermath with its sure word. Would I ever be able to consistently respond with a soft answer when provoked by others?

Not this side of heaven. But I must say that I am better at it now than I was in earlier years.

When working as the manager of our local public library, I was able to put this verse into practice more than I would have imagined upon taking the job. Did I tell you this was a “public” library? Well, yes, that should be a hint. How many times did I remind my staff that working with the public requires personal restraint, as we remember that people will walk in and use our services when they’re having a great day and a horrible day. We don’t know what a person has been through before coming through our doors.

After responding with grace and an especially soft tone to an overwrought patron, he admitted he was in the wrong with his complaint and the way he had acted. I told him that was fine, and I look forward to seeing him again in the future. A wide-eyed staff member came to me afterwards, stunned by how that interaction turned out. The controlled response he saw in me had been years in the making, and I thanked the Lord for His help and protection. It also reminded me that a verse learned as a child would prove helpful as an adult.

Swimming against the current

Applying the wisdom of such verses also sets us apart as Christ-followers. In a world where anger is met with anger and vitriol with vitriol, a soft answer throws the enemy off kilter. A person filled with rage is not expecting calmness and respect from the opposition.

Can we do this on our own? Impossible. I know my natural tendencies all too well to give it back as good as I get it, but that’s not the way of Christ. What did He do when they hurled insults at Him?

But when he was accused by the chief priests and elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate said to him, “Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?” But he gave him no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed. (Matt. 27:12-13)

This is a reminder of what we heard from the prophet Isaiah.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. (Is. 53:7)

“Lord, may your Spirit enable me to restrain my impulsive ways and respond with soft answers so they ask why, opening doors to share about you.”

Grace and Peace

If you missed the last Friday Focus post, click HERE, or start this Walking in Wisdom series from the beginning.